I’ve never been one for New Year’s resolutions. As someone who struggles to keep track of his age, what day of the week it is, even what year it is at times, I find it odd that people need a certain date to set their personal agendas and goals? Sure, I’m all for setting goals, but I don’t think I need a particular date in a calendar to do so?
About the stuff we lack
Dwell upon our memories
But there are no facts
Minor Threat – Salad Days
However, as this is a new year, and here we are on a new adventure, I feel I should follow suit and make some sort of declaration of desires for the year.
So what do I want from the year?
I want a pebble in my shoe!
OK, that probably sounds weird, but bear with me.
I want Toy Photographers to be that pebble in my shoe, a gentle reminder to never become too comfortable. And if I do become comfortable, I want it to be that jolt to remind me that I shouldn’t be. Not an irksome jab, just a friendly prod to keep me on my toes as it whispers into my ear, “don’t get too comfortable now”!
I want to be made to think with every idea, with every plan, with every setup, every time I leave the house, every time I lay down in the sand/grass/mud, with every photograph I take, “is this the best it can be”?
I want to be questioned. I want to question myself. I want to strive for all.
Descendents – No All
I love scrolling through toy photography feeds and being able to instantly recognise a certain artist’s photos, or be able to identify their influence in another photographer’s photo. “Ah, there’s one of hers!” “Oh that’s his!” Seeing someone’s unique style shine through in a mass of photos pleases me. But does their style please me, or is it my ability to pick it out from a bunch of photos?
This is where the “all” I’m striving for comes in.
Have I found my own style? No. Do I want to? I don’t know.
I do, however, want this pebble in my shoe to keep me shifting, keep me squirming, keep me uncomfortable, until I either find my style, or find out that I’m happy without an identifiable one.
How’d it ever get in my little toesy?
Never thought a pebble could be so nosy
Gotta shake it out of my little hosey
Gotta keep dancing all the time
Ella Fitzgerald – Gotta Pebble In My Shoe
So, I’m declaring, despite avoiding an actual New Year’s resolution, this year, my intentions are to keep slightly uncomfortable. And by doing so, hopefully I’ll be comfortable with what I discover?