In my G+ mentorship program we’re asked a daily question. These questions are designed to get us to think about our lives in new and different ways. I thought I would answer one of the questions that came up this week publicly since it has some relevance to recent events.
Describe a time in your life when you had felt like an outsider and then someone connected with you to the point where your sense of belonging was restored.
When I first saw this question I immediately dismissed it because I’ve always been on the “outside looking in” my entire life. Some of this is by personal choice, some of this is because I have a personality that most people don’t want to deal with. I think the word commonly used to describe me is ‘intense’. I agree, I am.
Last night I realized there’s one group of people who’ve accepted me for who I am no questions asked – the toy photography community.
I became a part of this community many years ago when I posted an image called “How to catch a Wiiman” and I was overwhelmed by the comments and connections I’d made with this one simple photo. It wasn’t long before I was swept into this fun, welcoming, enthusiastic community of toy photographers.
How to catch a Wiiman.
In those early years I never revealed my age or my gender, because I didn’t want to be judged. I knew I was outside the norm of the typical pop culture obsessed male toy photographer; it turns out my fears were ungrounded. In all the years I’ve been a part of this community, I’ve never been judged, I’ve only been welcomed. Even when I met some of my online heroes (and future friends) at the Las Vegas toy safari, I was instantly welcomed into the group as one of the gang. For this I will always be grateful.
In my work promoting toy photography and my own work, I’ve come into contact, and I’ve had to find common ground, with a variety of people. These included men, women, children, housewives, doctors, lawyers, stock room workers, retail employees, graphic designers, students, ex-military, active military, mentally ill, suicidal, transgender, gay, moms, dads, new parents, grandparents, unemployed, devoutly religious, plus a variety of cultures. The list is varied and covers all walks of life, all sexual orientations, all ages, all income brackets and all education levels. I’ve always tried to treat everyone respectfully and as an equal. This has always been reciprocated.
If you’re thinking: ‘Wait! There’s so much drama in the community!” Sure there’s drama in the toy photography community; there will always be small skirmishes within any community that’s full of creative and passionate people. What I’m talking about is acceptance and a feeling of belonging, about not having to hide your hobby because you don’t think anyone will understand. The moment I found this group of people, that moment when they welcomed me with there comments and support, I knew that these were my people and this was a group I wanted to belong to and support.
From the number of ‘Why?’ posts that talk about this same feeling, I’m pretty sure I’m not alone. A sense of non-judgement, a feeling of kinship, a knowledge that you’re a part of a group that will not judge you but welcome you, is a precious and rare commodity. The feeling of joy when you realize you found a home, a place where you can be yourself and that you belong, is moment many of us will never forget.
I bring this up now because I think know its time to take the lessons we’ve learned here in the toy community into the real world. We hail from every part of the globe. If you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time you’ve read posts from toy photographers living in South Korea, Russia, Finland, Australia, Turkey, Panama, Spain, England, United States and so many more. The world is changing at a pace that many people are uncomfortable with. There seems to be a pervasive fear about the future which is amplified by the media. Fear of the unknown, fear of the other, fear of change, fear that their won’t be enough to go around, fear of the future – these fears loom large for many of us. But we will never find answers to the many problems that we are facing us as a world community if we don’t get to know each other first.
I encourage you to take the skills you’ve learned in the toy community, the ability to appreciate without judging and an openness to a variety of backgrounds, and extend these attitudes into your real life. We are the agents for the change that we want, one friendship at a time.
Yesterday I was out photographing toys with @Wiiman, @Lady.Nightingale and @Intangibledandy; four improbable friends brought together through their love of toys and photography. We are a testament to the power of toys to help bridge the gap from strangers to friends and I know we are not unique. To me that’s the greatest gift that can be given, the gift of friendship, connection and belonging.
~ Shelly
If you want to know how I feel about the results of the US election read this eloquent piece of writing by my friend Marika Malaea.
Love trumps hate.
Tanx for sharing. It’s a great story. Keep doing good what you’re doing.
Thank you Francis, I’m glad you enjoyed the post. We will keep moving on, as we do! 🙂
Dear Shelly,
I’m so glad every time I see your new post where you share your feelings, impressions and thoughts about our common hobby.
After reading I think that it’s so great to feel the same!
This sincere and warm feeling that we get from the kind reaction of the community is really important.
In my opinion, we all should tell our different stories and bring more positive, respect and understanding to our lives! This possibility to be one friendly Team talking to talented people from different countries is fantastic and I consider it to be the simple recipe of joy. 🙂 That’s why I love your wonderful projects on Stuck in Plastic.
I agree with you: the Gift of friendship, connecting and belonging is a real Treasure. I’m very glad to have such a great friend as you.
Thank you!
Kind Regards,
Ann.
Thank you Ann for your kind words! Yes I agree! his ability to connect across cultures and across a multitude of barriers and make friendships through our mutual hobby – is the real gift! Thank you and keep being awesome Ann! 😀
Thanks for this post, and for sharing Marika’s words. Inspiring. I needed that.
Here’s to connecting and building our tribe!
Im glad you took the time to read Marika’s post – she is amazing! And yes, lets build the tribe, lets expand our group one friendship, one connection at a time! We will get through this! 🙂
Fantastic piece, Shelly. I feel exactly the same way as you. I’ve felt a sense of belonging in this community that I haven’t really felt in many other aspects of my life. And thanks for the link to your friend’s Trump article. Hadn’t thought of it like that, I really like it. I try to keep positive about everything, even though my fiery self will usually burn off some bad energy initially haha. Definitely a time for positivity
Thanks Sean for your kind words. Yes, this really is a special community, one that needs to be nurtured so that we can keep it healthy.
I have to thank you for helping me to make a full break from FB. Your comment on the US election and the comments from your family have helped me to see what an ugly place it really is. I see now that nothing good can come from reading my time line. So THAT’S a good thing. 😀
Could not have said it better myself. I was in the same boat, on the outside looking in, until I discovered Toy Photography. It’s changed me into a better person.
Greetings from South Africa.
PS : Don’t stress about the elections, whichever way you voted or hoped it would go. Have a look at our president. It should make you feel a tad better.
Thanks Sawn for joining the conversation! That is so cool to hear its changed you into a better person – Im pretty sure its changed me into a better person too! And thanks for the perspective on the US election.:))